“Happiness in life is all we need” is the universal truth of life. Everyone works hard their entire life to achieve happiness, but very few actually get it. The reason behind this is the mistakes that we make unknowingly.
“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”~ Tom Bodett
You search all your life happy but fail to achieve it because of mistakes committed and misunderstanding of real happiness in life. So our first target is to identify the real happiness in life.
Therefore the definition of happiness varies from person to person, but one thing is sure if you have these mistakes, you will lose happiness and peace of mind.
I’ve identified 12 tested mistakes that you should avoid in order to live a happy life.
1. Thinking about past mistakes
It is one of the greatest mistakes of your life. Most of you are stuck between various past mistakes that make your life miserable. They know the fact that it is not good to live in the past but due to a lack of self-control, they are unable to avoid it.
Remember, living in the past only gives you unhappiness and restlessness. You are very well aware that you can not change the past. So with this fact, you should avoid thinking about the past.
However, you can learn from the mistakes that you committed in the past. It will make your life good and full of happiness.
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”~ Roy T. Bennett
2. Lack of clear communication with others
Lack of communication is the major reason behind an unhappy life. It makes your interpersonal life miserable. And it is the main reason behind unstable relationships in the modern era.
An unstable life makes your life very bad in every aspect. Most of the time between two people relationship collapses just because of a lack of clear communication. People want to say something but end up doing something else.
“Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.” ~Roy T. Bennett
The major part of clear communication is listening skills that very few have mastered. It is a necessary part of a happy life. So everyone must focus on developing good communication skills.
Therefore having clear communication is a necessity for a happy and contented life. It makes you satisfied and peaceful.
3. Comparison with other’s life
Everyone has a unique set of qualities and responsibilities in life. The life of two people may not be the same. So the comparison with others is a waste of time and your valuable resources.
You must have seen that most of you try to imitate others without thinking about yourself. This may give you temporary happiness but in the long run, you will find it difficult to follow others.
Instead, you start focussing on your life and your capabilities. And try to improve it. It will certainly improve your life and happiness level.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
~ Dalai Lama XIV
“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” ~ Jonathan Safran Foer
Therefore never compare yourself with others as everyone has a different set of life conditions and responsibilities.
So once you start comparing your life with others you lost all your happiness. It is the worst thing to do in your life. God has made everyone a unique person. Each one of you has a different quality and skill.
So comparing with others is a kind of insult to the almighty God. You need to understand the fact that comparing is nothing but a waste of time and resources.
Therefore by ignoring the idea of comparing you can achieve all the happiness of your life.
4. Try to please everyone
I’ve seen my friend trying to please everyone at the cost of his own time and resources. And he feels bad about his decision. It robs all his happiness and peace of mind.
This is the problem of most people who hesitate to say ‘NO’. And keep on suffering by pleasing everyone.
“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” ~ Roy T. Bennett
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” ~ Marcus Aurelius
There are some people in your life who have some expectations from you without your knowledge. And when you didn’t qualify their expectation then, they feel unhappy.
But, you have to think beyond the expectations of others and concentrate on your skill improvement and development. Always think of your improvement and nothing about petty things in life.
Remember, one universal law, ” you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try”. So don’t even think of pleasing everyone and try to say ‘NO’. If you really want to improve your life then work on yourself and do what pleases you.
5. Not following your passion
In today’s busy lifestyle, It’s very difficult to follow your passion. Most of you end up following the work for your needs rather than your passion. This develops a kind of unhappiness in you over time.
Furthermore, you have to spare some time for your passion, even for a few minutes but do it. After some time you will feel happy and contented.
“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”~ Roy T. Bennett
“Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.” ~ Ayn Rand
When you start following your passion, a kind of satisfaction emerges inside you and your capacity increases manifold. And you feel happy and peaceful. This is the major mistake that most of you do and suffer from a lack of happiness. So avoid it.
Therefore, Following your passion is one of the great things in your life that makes you feel energetic and efficient. So never ignore the power of following your passion.
6. Not spending time with your loved ones
Everyone in this modern era is lacking time. In the race for achieving more success, luxury and comfort, you have sacrificed everything including your valuable time for your loved ones.
Initially, you tend to ignore the value of spending time with your loved ones. But after some time when you realise that spending time with loved ones is more important than having a lot of money and resources.
“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals.
If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”~ Roy T. Bennett,
“Happiness is holding someone in your arms and knowing you hold the whole world.” ~ Orhan Pamuk
But, it becomes too late and you are filled with a lot of unhappiness in your life. Therefore, you have to understand the value of your loved ones and spare some time for them. It will enhance your capacity and efficiency manyfold.
Therefore, it is well known that it is the loved ones who give you value in your life. So never ignore the presence of your loved ones in your life. And try to understand their value.
7. Too many expectations from others
“Expectation is the root cause of all the unhappiness in the world.” ~ Anonymous.
The expectation is like a poison in the hand that destroys you first. It makes you weak and incapable. And makes you less confident and generates self-doubt.
So always try to ignore the expectations of the others. However, you should expect something from yourself. It’s a good thing that you are expecting something from yourself.
“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself.” ~ Roy T. Bennett
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you read life experiences of successful people, you will be surprised to know that every one of them believed in themselves rather than others. Expectations from self improve your ability and from others decrease your ability. The choice is yours.
I believe that you would like to improve your capacity and life conditions. So it is better to keep away yourself all the expectations from others and focus on yourself.
8. Not following a healthy lifestyle
One of the famous quotes on health is ” Health is wealth”. It is the most important part of your life. Being healthy is a boon that you can achieve through determination and hard work.
For a healthy life, discipline is necessary. In today’s busy life following a healthy lifestyle is a challenge. So a strict mindset is necessary for having a healthy lifestyle.
Once you achieve a healthy life, you will feel a kind of happiness and peace of mind. A healthy body and mind are prerequisites for happiness. You can’t imagine happiness with bad health.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
~ Dalai Lama XIV
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” ~ Roy T. Bennett
Living a healthy life is also a choice that very few selects. As it needs a lot of patience and hard work with continuous discipline. But it is the best way to live a happy and peaceful life. And in the absence of it, no one can live a happy life.
Therefore always think of having a healthy lifestyle. It needs our focussed attention. So never fail to have a healthy life that’s the key to happiness.
9. Not believing in yourself
You can’t do anything in the absence of belief in yourself and you can do anything if you believe you can do it. It’s all in the belief system. The more you believe in yourself the more you can achieve,
“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.”~ J. M. Barrie
“You have to believe. Otherwise, it will never happen.”~ Neil Gaiman
Any achievement or target starts in the mind first. You first believe that you can do it, then only it is possible to accomplish it. So never ignore the power of the belief system of our mind. It is the strongest force known to mankind.
“Take responsibility for your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands.”
~ Roy T. Bennett
If you believe in yourself means taking responsibility which is a rare thing. Very few take responsibility as it requires a lot of effort with accountability. And very few like to come out of their comfort zone.
Therefore all you have to do is to start believing in yourself before thinking of any target in your life. If you believe in it, you can do it, again and again, that’s the beauty of a belief system.
And one thing is sure, you will tons of happiness and peace of mind.
10. Lack of decision-making skill
Any achievement has one thing in common and that is, the ability to take a decision at the right time. Very few are able to acquire this skill.
Most people try to ignore the crucial decisions of life. They wait for the right moment or ending time and then take a decision on whatever comes to their mind.
This kind of approach is very harmful and sometimes can create problems in your life.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”~ Mahatma Gandhi
“Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.” ~ Roy T. Bennett
I have seen many people waste their valuable time on petty issues and complain fro unhappiness. It is obvious that if you waste your energy on these things then you will hardly find energy and motivation for good things in life meant for happiness.
So it is the best decision about life that you can take.
Therefore you have to develop the quality of decision-making for a happy and contented life.
11. Procrastination
It is one of the main reasons for unhappiness in life. Most of you have a certain set of plans in life, but due to some or other reasons procrastination happens.
It also wastes a lot of energy and resources which is another reason for unhappiness in life. Procrastination generates a lot of stress in our life which means a lot of unhappiness. There are certain ways you can get rid of procrastination and its negative effects on your life.
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”~ Mother Theresa
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” ~ Steve Maraboli
Therefore you have to overcome procrastination in order to live a happy and peaceful life. If you make yourself capable of doing your work at the right time then the world is yours. You can achieve anything in your life.
12. Wasting time
” Time and tide wait for none”. A wonderful saying says the importance of time. It is the most valuable resource of human beings yet most of you waste it.
If you read the autobiographies of the successful people of the world. You will find out they used their time judiciously. They used every minute of it efficiently. And that’s the secret of their success.
You know Time is a limited and valuable resource, so never ever waste it. It is evident that ” Time once lost never comes back”.
“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.”
~ Charles Darwin
Wasting time is one of the things you must avoid otherwise you won’t be able to live a happy life. So never think of wasting time consciously or unconsciously.
Therefore,
By avoiding these twelve mistakes, you can definitely achieve happiness and contentment in your life. It is the nature of human beings to live a happy and peaceful life but due to continuous changes in lifestyles, we have avoided a lot of important things in life.
In this article, I’ve searched some points that most of you ignored throughout your life and suffered from unhappiness and dissatisfaction in your life.
Therefore it is high time to ignore all the negative emotions that I’ve mentioned above. I am sure that you will achieve happiness in your life and you will live a happy and peaceful life.
So keep doing the positive actions and ignore the negative ones mentioned above. You will definitely get all the happiness you always searched for.
All the best.
Related:
- The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
- Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life
- The Laws of Human Nature
